If My Cats Were Superheroes …

… we’d all be doomed.

If my cats were superheroes, I could see the reject roster lining up to something like this:

The Feline Rejects

Castiel, alias: Muggsy Sunshine; superpower: avenging shelter kitties by crapping rainbows in animal abusers’ faces. (The skewed logic to this is that rainbows = good, animals abusers = bad; therefore, rainbows trump animal abusers). [I swear, this was his superpower before I even heard of Nyan Cat!!!]

Ishtar, alias: Tail Shaker; superpower: flicking tail one way shoots out targeted healing power, while flicking tail another way sterilizes feral cats.

Orlox, alias: The Assassin; superpower: successfully trips everyone that gets in his way, causing certain death.

Pandora, alias: Silent Stalker; superpower: to blend with her surroundings and sneak attack when perpetrators least expect it.  She also has the ability to speak a multitude of languages, giving The Feline Rejects the upper hand when it comes to cryptolinguistics.

Prometheus, alias: Wobbly Charmer; superpower: ability to hold the stare of enemy, enchanting them, and giving a good ol’ jab and uppercut to knock the sucker out.

Boots, alias: Head Smasher; superpower: to smash through obstacles with his huge, titanium-reinforced head.  He’s the muscle of the operation.

Icarus, alias: Sidekick Ick; superpower: his powers are developing – right now he’s still a kitten and, therefore, a superhero reject in training.   For the time being, Sidekick Ick aids the other Feline Rejects on missions, but not past his bedtime.